Egypt 2,650 B.C.

The mad Pharaoh Khufu orders his tomb to be the grandest and shiniest that the gods have ever seen. His Grand Vizier, Imhotep, warns him it is impossible. Pharaoh and his rubber ducky insist.

To find a method to move stones faster, in order to build the tomb in one lifetime, Imhotep announces a competition for all the palace vendors: a million shekel contract to the winning method. Imhotep fully plans to slaughter the winners, claim the method, build the tomb and usurp the throne. [Big chords right here.]

Our hero is Khafre, an easygoing guy who runs the palace pub. He’d rather sit in the shade and drink mead than drag stones across the desert, but his best friend and pub partner, Baba, reminds him that winning this competition would mean he could probably marry that Princess he is having an illicit affair with - Khufu’s daughter, Meresankh!

So begins the race across the Nile River sands to the Giza Plateau, each team hauling an 80-ton stone in their own unique idiom; the ox-cart dealers, the gym guys, the pyramid-schemers, the slave trader, the palace engineers, the cultists, the minstrels, the vegans...

Imhotep has vowed to execute the competitors if they do not find a whirlwind method before the Nile Flooding, so even whilst they break their backs trying to move their own monumental stones, they must also sabotage each other just to keep moving one step backwards, two steps sideways each day...

But a new wind is about to blow...

While the cultists channel aliens for help, while environmentalists The Friends of The Sand sabotage the competitors for dragging stones over their sacred granules, while a decidedly modern interviewer reports for Cairo News Network, while Meresankh tries to aid her pub lover covertly, Khafre and Baba discover that sabotage against them has accidentally inspired a synergy of stone-moving creativity...

... and on the Giza Plateau, in a time long before beer was corporate and Anno was Domine, all these crazy stoners suddenly realize that the answer they seek... is blowin' in the wind.